Loss of Companion

[phldave]

This past Saturday my 10 year old black lab was stricken by a severe medical problem and I had to euthanize him. Some lessons in life give us no second chances. Hold your loved ones close every chance you get, because if you don't it will tear you apart when their gone.

My hope for martins is even stronger now, perhaps if some can find it in their hearts to start a colony at my place this year, it will help fill the hole I have in mine.

[Louise Chambers]

So sorry, Dave - been there, and it just plain leaves a hole in one's heart. I hope when you are ready, a new canine friend will help you smile again.

And martins, too, of course!

[ChrisM]

Dave,
I am so sorry for your loss.
I went through my dad's dog fine one week, and bringing him home to his final resting place by the third week, and all so sudden and shocking, and as it was only two years ago, it still seems like yesterday. I know how you feel, and thinking of you. :(

ChrisM
NE Kansas

[Peggy Riley]

I'm so sorry Dave. We lost our old guy the day after Christmas to cancer we didn't know he had. He'd just had a check up in Sept and he was fine. We had to make the right decision for him.

My lab is 10 now and I can't even think about life without him. Just know that you did what you had to do, that's part of loving them.

I'll be thinking about you. And you will get your birds!

Peggy

[pmlover]

so sorry dave I love dogs and know they are good for your heart but when the pass they put a big hole in your heart
I hope someone gives you a lab pup, I'm sure he will help fill the hole in your heart. God bless you and your lad
Dick

[Connie]

Sorry Dave, so sad. Lost 2 in my life time and still hurt for both. I have 3 now so I am never without one to comfort me should I lose another. Hope you feel up to a new best friend soon.
Connie

[Dave Duit]

Very sorry to hear this news Dave. My thoughts are with you. It is always difficult to lose a pet or someone close to you. Feel free to post on the Iowa website; maybe someone close by can assist with the martins.

[Emil Pampell-Tx]

Very sorry to hear that Dave. We lost my buddy, Spanky, a 16yr old black lab on Dec 22nd 2013. It was difficult, I could not forget him. and probably never will, its hard. He could eat and walk until the day he died

[phldave]

Thank you everyone for the kind words. We still have a female yellow lab, she is a year older than Max was. Bailey stole my heart from the very beginning and she has always been my sweet heart. This is why the loss of Max has hurt me so, I feel I didn't give him all the attention he deserved. Max and my wife were always closer, and she took it very hard when we had to let him go.

When it's Bailey's time, I don't think we will enter into having another dog. We have had four since we were married, and I don't know if we want to go through the loss again. I think we will concentrate on our children, grandchildren, and family. I still am looking forward to having martins someday.

[Siberman]

I lost my Siberian Skye on her 13th birthday . 4 months later I had to put her life-long mate ( Storm ) down on his 13th birthday . He had grieved himself down to the point where I had no choice but to let him go . I blubbered like a baby at the vet's office .

Don't let the pain keep you from sharing life with dogs , ok ? The blessings are so much stronger than the pain . Take your time then visit a rescue center . I have three ( along with my "natural " rat terrier ) and I wouldn't trade them for the world .

The Power of the Dog


THERE is sorrow enough in the natural way From men and women to fill our day; And when we are certain of sorrow in store, Why do we always arrange for more? Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy Love unflinching that cannot lie-- Perfect passion and worship fed By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head. Nevertheless it is hardly fair To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits, And the vet's unspoken prescription runs To lethal chambers or loaded guns, Then you will find--it's your own affair-- But...you've given your heart for a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will, With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!); When the spirit that answered your every mood Is gone--wherever it goes--for good, You will discover how much you care, And will give your heart for the dog to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way, When it comes to burying Christian clay. Our loves are not given, but only lent, At compound interest of cent per cent. Though it is not always the case, I believe, That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve: For, when debts are payable, right or wrong, A short-time loan is as bad as a long-- So why in Heaven (before we are there) Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
Rudyard Kipling

[Peggy Riley]

Siberman thank you for posting that, I've never read it before.

[MamaBruff]

Oh Dave, I also know where you are coming from after doing so with my own dog. "Cookie" was like "Nana" in Peter Pan. My deepest sympathies, and many kind thoughts. Might I add that one never really gets too old for another dog... Follow your heart ... My Dad had to put down his elderly Boston at (his) age 82, and he missed her so much, we found another Bostie Girl in need of a forever home nearby. The two are inseparable companions... In the meantime, "YOUR" Purple Martins are heading north from Brazil, sure to lift your spirits and bring you joy!

Please pass on the wonderful sentiments (and hugs) from the forum to your wife and Bailey also.

(Siberman, your Kipling poem took me right over the edge to Kleenex land.)

[Davlyn]

I am also sorry for your loss Dave , we lost our 14 yr and three day old schnauzer two days after thanksgiving 2012 and it was just like losing a
family member because our dogs are part of our family as I am sure yours are . I could not go to work for a few days and cried for weeks and still do at times because he is missed so much ! Like your Max our Bailey will always remain in our hearts !

We may not be together the way we use to be We are still connected by a cord no eye can see , So whenever you need to find me We're never far apart If you look beyond the horizon And listen with your heart

[Ed Pace]

Dave, We too have lost a few great dogs over the years and it really hurts. The memories of them are frequent and always put's a smile on my face, a dogs love is real. Sorry.

[DebA]

Oh Dave, I'm so sorry. He was loved and knew it I'm sure. I pray this is your landlord year. The martins have seen me through some tough times. They do lift spirits and remind how wonderful love is and beautiful life is even after tragedy or loss. Rest in comfort from your forum friends.
Deb

[KathyF]

Dave, I'm so sorry to hear about your pup (they're always puppies in my eyes). It's natural to think that you didn't do enough for them or spend enough time with them. It's ok - you gave him a good home where he was safe, loved and happy. You're one of the special ones that has obviously cared enough to express your grief. There are not a lot out there like you.

I swore up and down that I would *never* have another dog after the amount of grief I experienced from having to let my other ones go. But eventually, I did - because there are so many out there that need people like you. And even though she's only 7 now, I let my mind "go there" and I cry and think OMG, how will I get through this one?

This is one I share with everyone that has lost a pet.

YOU HAVE CHOSEN TEARS

The little orange boy stopped.
Behind him, kitties were playing, chasing each other and
wrestling in the warm sunshine.
It looked like so much fun, but in front of him, through
the clear stillness of the pond's water, he could see his mommy.
And she was crying.
He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when
that didn't work, he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's image danced away in the ripples.
"Mommy!" he cried. "Is something wrong?" The little orange boy turned
around.

A lady was standing at the edge of the pond, her eyes
sad but filled with love.
The little orange boy sighed and walked out of the water.
"There's been a mistake," he said. "I'm not supposed to be here."
He looked back at the water.
It was starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming back.
"I'm just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't
supposed to come here yet." The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass.
The little orange boy climbed into her lap.
It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good.
When she started to pet him and scratch under his chin like he liked, he
started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it.
"I'm afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be
here and your mommy knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said.
The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg.
"But she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And daddy too."
"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."
"That I was sick?"

That surprised the little orange boy.
No one had ever said anything and he had listened when
they thought he was sleeping.
All he had heard them talk about was how cute he was, or
how fast he was or how big he was getting.
"No, not that you were sick," the lady said.
"But you see, they chose tears."
"No, they didn't," the little orange boy argued. Who would choose to cry?
The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss.
It made him feel safe and loved and warm - but he still worried about his mommy.

"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.
The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around.
Cats - Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and Robin.
Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and OBie.
Dogs too- Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle.
Even a lizard named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and
Becky and a hamster named Odo.
They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting.
She smiled at them and began:

A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel
in Charge. They were lonesome and asked the Angel to help them.
The Angel took them to a wall of windows and let them
look out the first window at all sorts of things - dolls and stuffed
animals and cars and toys and sporting events. "Here are things
you can love," the Angel said. "They will keep you from being lonesome."
"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need."
"You have chosen Pleasure," the Angel told them.

But after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love them."
The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out at all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said. "They will know you love them."
So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild
animals. "You have chosen Satisfaction," the Angel said.

Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal
preserves, some just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they
all came back to the Angel in Charge.
"They know we love them," they told the Angel. "But they don't love us back. We want to be loved in return."
So the Angel took them to the third window and showed
them lots of people walking around, hurrying places.
"Here are people for you to love," the Angel told them.
So the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to love.
"You have chosen Commitment," the Angel said.

But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the
Angel in Charge.
"People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes
they stopped loving us and left. They broke our hearts."
The Angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said.
"You will have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."

As the Loving Ones were leaving, someone saw a window
off to one side and hurried to look out.
Through it, they could see puppies and kittens and dogs
and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets.
The other Loving Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked.
But the Angel just tried to shoo them away.
"Those are Personal Empathy Trainers," he said.
"But there's a problem with their system operations."
"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.
"Yes," the Angel said.
"Would they love us back?" another asked.
"Yes," the Angel said.
"Will they stop loving us?" someone else asked.
"No," the Angel admitted. "They will love you forever."
"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.
But the Angel was very upset.

"You don't understand," he told them. "You will have to
feed these animals."
"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.
"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."
"We don't care."
The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where
the Pets were and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts
reflected in the animals' eyes.

"They were not programmed right," the Angel said. "We can't offer a
warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems
malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."
But the Loving Ones did not care.
They were holding the warm little bodies and finding
their hearts so filled
with love that they thought they would burst.
"We will take our chances," they said.
"You do not understand." The Angel tried one more time.
"They are so dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is
not designed to out live you. You are destined to suffer their loss."
The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms
and nodded.
"That is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the
love they offer."

The Angel just watched them all go, shaking his head.
"You have chosen Tears," he whispered.

"So it is," the kind lady told the kitties.
"And so each mommy and daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one day it will leave them and they will cry."
The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.
"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain later."
"Oh."

The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the edge of the pond. His mommy was still there, and still crying.
"Will she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.
She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the
Loving Ones, knowing how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made them special."

She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water
trickle off her fingers.
"He made them healing tears, formed from the special water here.
Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring
and petting and shared love.
And the promise of love once again.

As your mommy cries, she is healing. It may take a long
while, but the tears will help her feel better. In time she will be less sad
and she will smile when she thinks of you.
And then she will open her heart again to another little baby."
"But then she will cry again one day," the little orange
boy said.

The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet.
"No, she will love again. That is all she will think
about."
She picked up Big Boy and Snowball and gave them hugs,
then scratched
Morgan's ear just how she liked.

"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we
go over to play?"
The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange
boy wasn't ready to leave his mommy.
"Will I ever get to be with her again?"
The kind lady nodded.
"You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks at.
You'll be in the purr of
every cat she pets. And late at night, when she's fast
asleep, your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at
peace.

One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're safe
and waiting here for when it's her turn to come."
"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took
one long look at his mommy.
He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew
she had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.
"I love you, Mommy," he whispered. "It's okay if you
cry."

He glanced over at the other pets, running and playing
and laughing with the butterflies.
"Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be
around, I promise."
Then he turned and raced after the others.

[trisha]

Dave, I'm so sorry. We lost my precious Heidi over a year ago and I still grieve for her even though we have 2 new puppies. They have given me lots of joy and comfort so I would encourage you to some day get another dog.

Kathy that was a wonderful story..

I'm sending healing thoughts and prayers to you and your wife Dave.

[phldave]

I can't express enough thanks for all the kind words of comfort at this time of loss. You are all so wonderful!

[RC Moser]

know how you feel! When I lost my little male yorkie I was depressed for ?? well, I think am still miss him. He will be gone 10 years this summer.

That little dog had to go every where I went. Slept at my feet, Set in the chair watched TV with me. Loved to ride in the Truck. Howled when turkeys came on TV. thought he was Great Dame. Funniest little dog I ever had and Boy have I got some stories from this guy.

They give unconditional love and that my friend is hard to get over.

[Caroline94535-ND]

Dave, I'm so sorry for the loss of your buddy.

My Harry, shown in the little photo, is the heart and soul of my days. He's 11 now; I don't know how I'll be able to draw breath if he's no longer with me.