Heart ache in dealing with loss..

[Winger]

This originally started out as a response to the post Bob Buskas made titled "Nature can be cruel". I have a question for Bob and all of the other experienced Martineers. How do you learn to accept the heartbreak? I believe many of us think of the Martins as "our" birds, (or of us as their humans) therefore, we feel a particular need to "protect" them.

My "Mister" and I had to have a "talk" this evening. As SY landlords we have learned so much from this website (Forum, Archives, past issues of The Update...) however, nothing can prepare you for reality of Purple Martins!

Our recent examples of worry & concern:

1) A new fledge yesterday a.m.: Landed on the ground between "his" home (gourds) and our porch. Then "he" flew to a cypress tree approx. 60' from our porch (at the waters edge). "He" stayed there for 8+ hours. Some birds would harass "him"; others (Mom & Dad?) would just keep him company. We felt sure he was dehydrated (temp just at 100 yesterday). Just after 8:00 p.m. we went inside our house for a few minutes. When we retuned to the patio, the "bird" was no longer in the cypress. We checked around/under the cypress tree..no bird. We would like to think that he re-joined his "family" at the gourds. 8 hours of constant worry! (Really 16 if you consider both of us!)

2) A SY male lost his mate (hawk attack?) about 5 weeks ago. We found her dead on the porch of a Quad Pod. A few weeks ago he found a new mate. On May 28th during a nest check we found (3) eggs. This means that the expected hatch date is mid June. Fledge date: mid July. These babies/birds will never "make it" in our TX heat. I saw the post recently of adding protection for sun/heat. That particular post/application will not work for us. This nesting site is (a Quod Pod) and it has an odd apex/roof line.

So back to my original question.... How do all of you deal with the losses and the sadness? Is it just the understanding that in the long run of things that you know you have "done your best", and "done some overall good"?

I am fortunate and blessed. So many in TX are losing birds due to our horrible drought. We live on an extremely large lake with evidentially plentiful & abundant insects; so far, we have not yet lost any babies. 19 pair. Fledged: 25 - 30 so far. Approx. 50 - 60 eggs/babies to go!

I am truly interested in how you all deal with the loss year after year.

The best to all of you! Tammy~

[Mary Dawnsong]

Hi Tammy,

I have been a martin landlord for nearly 20 years and have learned that where these birds are concerned, you can't wear your heart on your sleeve. That would be self-defeating, considering that individual birds have an average lifespan of about one year across all age groups:
http://purplemartin.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=20175

I focus on the health and longevity of my colony as a whole, instead of agonizing over the fate of individual birds. Martins are dependent on humans and in that equation the human landlord is the most important factor.

You can lose many birds in a season owing to accidents, hawks, starvation, and landlord mistakes yet still have a strong colony next season. A well-managed colony is able to sustain itself and even grow, despite heavy losses in some years. A good landlord learns from those losses and becomes a better manager.

But if the landlord becomes discouraged over martin deaths and stops managing the colony or takes down the housing, then that colony is lost.

For your peace of mind and for the welfare of your colony, I recommend focusing on the colony as a whole - not on the individual birds.

My best, Mary

[Tim Mangan-Kansas]

Tammy:

It is never easy to experience a loss at your colony, especially to newcomers who are in the beginning stages of growing their colony with only have a few pair of nesting martins. Our hobby involves nature and when it comes to nature some things are just out of are control, i.e. weather and predators. There are tools available to all of us to help with predator control and even supplemental feeding in some situations but they are not a "cure all" for every situation.

We have to come to the realization that some factors are out of our control and accept the fact that we are going to loose some martins, both adults and nestlings. Once we accept the fact we are going to have loses, it does help, a little anyway. We might not like it but it helps us get through the season.

Tim

[eyeamtheman]

What Mary wrote is right on.....(she's even answered many of the questions I used to ask ) * waves at Mary* At any rate, yes, the more your colony grows, the more resilient you have to be when something goes wrong. The most important things you can do by far is....1) provide good housing, and 2) protect them from predators.

[Peggy Riley]

I also agree with Mary.

The successes far out weigh the failures. I still cringe when I hear the whole colony spot a hawk. Three seasons ago when I almost lost my entire colony to raccoons I was horrified and racked with guilt. I didn't have time for feeling low, I had to save what I could. These birds are amazing and every year I see something new. I have 85 pair this year but due to the drought the fledging numbers will be pretty low, maybe 60%. I know next season might be a good one but if it's not, I'll just wait until the next season.

Peggy

[ccarlin]

IT IS HARD LOSING ONE OF YOUR BABIES. A FEW YEARS AGO OVER TWO NIGHTS WE LOST OUR ENTIRE COLONY TO A VERY LARGE HOOT OWL. WE HAD OVER 90 BIRDS AND AFTER HE WAS THROUGH WE HAD NONE.THE LOSS WAS SO HARD I THOUGHT ABOUT QUITTING AND THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT I HOW MUCH I ENJOY MY BIRDS AND DECIDED TO TRY AGAIN..WE HAD TO ADD OWL GUARDS TO OUR HOUSING AND WE CHANGED FROM NATURAL GOURDS TO PLASTIC GOURDS. WE ALSO ADDED NITE GUARDS . WE LIVE ON THE SAME LAKE A YOU BUT FARTHER EAST.HOPE YOU DON'T ANY MORE ATTCKS.

[John Miller]

I agree with all said..that we should focus on the colony as a whole.

I will admit that I've become just a little less..a little..less emotional about some losses, such as due to weather -- but I supplemental feed.

My biggest heartache is trying to provide housing that is safe and productive. I feel we doom martins sometimes. My biggest saddness last season was a case of wing entrapment late in the season..very unusual. I lost an ASY male in the SREH, and an entire family inside...laid them all out on the ground and considered a picture, but then did not. I think we've reduced wing entrapment risk, but still working on it.

Tammy...don't write off some way to shield that house. You probably can use a bungee cord or two and strap some stryofoam sheets to the roof...where there's a caring landlord, it can be done; or at least try. (If you think rigid stryrofoam won't work, try fexible "sill" insulation and maybe just wrap some around the pod.) Then if they don't make it, just say you gave it some effort and look forward to next year. It's a wonderful hobby. I can't imagine anything more blissful than fledging swallows into the sky.

John Miller

[scottfreidhof]

It helps me to think beyond my own colony when things go bad. Attacks by a great horned owl this spring have reduced the number of nesting pairs in my colony. I typically host 20 to 22 pairs each season. Just 13 pairs remain at the moment.

I am encouraged by the fact that there are several colonies within just a few miles of my yard. I'm sure many of those colonies are fairing better than mine this season. So in the end, I know that the combined production from all the local colonies equals positive population growth. I realize too that the eastern third of Kentucky is "martin poor" compared to the western two-thirds of the state. The central and western portions of the state are martin production factories according to the breeding bird atlas.

[Winger]

I thank each and everyone of your for your response. As I said: “I am truly interested in how you all deal with loss…” This is a subject that has troubled me all season. My response is long & wordy…If you responded; I have an individual response for you!

Mary Dawnsong:
Yes, I can see your point: Focus on the colony…not the individual birds. We read everything on “The Forum” and are hoping to become the very best landlords that we can be. We will do whatever is necessary to take care of our birds. We have the time, (and yes, financial security… this can be an expensive hobby!). Thank you for your words, I promise to focus on the colony…

I also wanted to say thank you for responding to my post. Over the last year on this website/forum I have learned that you are very much admired for your knowledge & wisdom. When I saw your post early this year (2011) I thought: “Wow that is “THE MARY DAWNSONG”!
Again, thank you!


Tim Mangan-Arkansas:
Thank you for reminding me that “some factors are out of our control”. Yes, I guess last year we were so naïve as first year landlords (meaning uneducated…actually probably… stupid) we did not realize how fortunate we were. This year we upgraded housing, provided predator guards, & netting. No owl guards yet.. And although we have not had an owl problem…why wait for disaster…I intend to add them for the 2012 season! Thank you for your response!


eyeamtheman…Johnny:
You noted that the most important thing we can do is 1) provide good housing…We have a Gemini system with 12 BO 11 gourds with tunnels, cooling caps & “no rockers” and a break wench… Our second system is a Heritage Farms Quod Pod. Only (2) “pods” for a total of 8 boxes. We painted the “factory direct” green roof’s white…also a wench. We do not intend to add to the Quod Pod, but will continue to use it as long as it is successful. 2) We are doing everything we read about to protect them from predators. (see above note to “Tim”) I just need to work on my resilience!

Peggy:
Good for you to have the attitude not to feel low after losing so much of your colony. What a fantastic attitude to “save what you could”. We are in a very rural location (years ago our land was actually part of a deer hunting lease). Since early February my “Mister” has trapped (using a hav-a-heart) 9 coons…they “got” our bluebirds last year! Thank you for your positive attitude!


ccarlin:
So sorry for your loss to the Hoot owl. (I mentioned owl guards in my response above…) What resilience you have! I can only hope that I would do the same!

You are the only other “person” we know on the Forum from “Rayburn”. Maybe we could meet for lunch someday…are you familiar with the restaurant “The Stump” close to “Rayburn County”? Or, just give us another “landmark”..! I would be delighted to buy you lunch! Take care friend!

Hey John Miller:
I am honored that you took the time to respond to my post! You too are much revered on this Forum! I am saddened by the loss that you spoke of (last season/wing entrapment/loss of entire family).

Thank you John, I will not “write off some way to shield that house”. I’m not sure how at this time (the wind is viscous on our area of the lake). I will try your suggestion….the “Flexible “sill”…I’m not sure what it is but surely someone at one of our “Big Box” stores will know what I am talking about…If not, you will receive a pm from me! I may be a “newbie” ...2nd year…but I have a “bad” case of “Martin Fever”. I am one of those lurkers that read the Forum all summer, fall & winter. I read. But until recently, just very seldom brave enough to post! Thanks for all the information you have provided. When I see your post I always read them!

Hello scottfreidhof:
Wow with the loss you have experienced this year your attitude says much for the kind of person you are: POSITIVE! Thanks for the pat on the back…just what so many of us can use. All the more kudos for you in a “martin poor” area of your state. Wishing you nothing but the best!

I thank you all! Wishing you nothing but the very best for the remaining season. Keep in mind…if I need your help, I will call on you again! Tammy!

[KathyF]

Tammy, this is a very good post. It comes at a difficult time for me. I lost a female this year who died of no apparent reason and am struggling to get an injured female 'back on her wings'.

I'm an emotional person - I wear my heart on my sleeve. Still cry over my dog that I had to euthanize 5 years ago. I LOVE animals (except for starlings & HOSP ).

I have my own way of dealing with things. Go ahead & let yourself feel it, then move on. Otherwise "pushing it down" causes one big explosion. When I found my dead female I cried while thinking about the things she had seen and the places she had been and the winds she had experienced beneath her wings. Sappy I know - but that's me. I find that if I let myself "go there", then I get over it quicker.

THEN I went back to my colony & admired the way THEY were moving on about their business. Her male had already gotten over it and was looking for another female - he had one goal in mind and he couldn't let this slow him down. HE made me smile again that same day. I realized too that martins don't have time for emotional baggage - literally, they don't have time.

BUT I'm not a carefree bird. I have learned from experience - go ahead & be yourself, then get over it - I have other martins to care for & ensure they make it through the season. If my injured female doesn't make it, then I will cry for her too - spend an hour or so thinking about it, then I will go do a nest check & revel in the magic that is Mother Nature.

I will also never give up because of the bad things that go with this hobby - because the good does far out weigh the bad. My favorite line from Steel Magnolias - "Life goes on". And, it can go on without you if you're not careful, so get back on the train & keep going!

I look at my tears as "healing tears".

[DakotaLady]

Tammy,

I'm an emotional person and wear my heart on my sleeve as well. When my colony grows and I begin losing birds I will have a hard time dealing with those emotions as well. But I will not give up either and am hoping that I can one day have a large colony and make a difference in increasing the purple martin population in my area.

I'm really glad you added this post as it's a good way to see how others are handling their losses. It appears as though most feel as you do but try to look at the positive outcome of raising even just a few birds or fledglings can do to make a difference.

I continuously read the forum too and am amazed at the wealth of information that is on this forum. There are so many things one can do to make our colonies safe and how awesome that it is foremost on your mind. I've also implemented a lot of things on my houses due to things I've read on this forum. Most recently predator guards. No snake netting as we don't have the rat snakes around here. I need to work on owl guards but don't know where to begin with that yet.

Good luck with your colony. I wish you a very successful and positive journey with your purple martins my friend.

[Guest]

Learn all you can and keep on keepin on. The more you learn (here) and the more you do, the more success you have.

[dsonyay]

Yeah, you really have to get tough (like they do!). I learned the hard way too. I found an ASY female dead one afternoon. She flew into my window. This was right at the time I had my first pair for the year (my first ever pair at our home in Slidell). I was really shook up over it. I also thought I lost the only female to begin spending the night. I felt 100% to blame too.

It made me realize I would need to develop a whole different way of looking at them. Their lives are much more fragile than other animals (like our dogs) and at some point I will have many more pairs and many more deaths due to numerous reasons.

I figured I'd better get used to this quickly or I'd be a nutcase over time. Even now, I'm a bit of a worry-wart over my only pair-- they have three chicks at the moment and I know their lives have huge obstacles ahead of them-- not only the chicks, but the two parents as well. Even they could be killed at any time by predators. It's an amazing saga of survival- that's for sure.

I hope it doesn't feel like I'm pouring cold water on you, but I think we do much better when we kinda "harden up" just a little. For me this is tough to do with such a pretty little creature.

[dsonyay]

let me add this too--

many years ago, I was more of an observer of purple martins. My dad took care of them and my brother and I (we were kids then) were more like observers of the whole thing.

Now I'm really knee deep in it. I'm actually lowering the gourds and handling chicks a bit. I feel like I'm also part of their lives in a way- although in reality I doubt they look at me in the same way.

So yeah, being a diligent landlord really ratchets up the feelings inside.; Making it so hard to remain like a neutral party to it all.

[bwenger]

Hi Tammy,

This has turned out to be a really good post.

Like everyone is saying, keep the colony in your focus. We do our best to manage the colonies for their betterment, but things happen that we cannot control.

This is to the best of my recollection:

I don't think the landlord will mind me telling his story, but this was from 2009. The last week of June and the first week of July a weather front went slowly through the Mid Atlantic states. At this time, probably 15% of the birds in the colonies were in the late 25-29 day's of development. 60% were say in the 5 to 24 day's of development, and the balance 25% would be in the egg to 4 days of development. These would be a guesstimate, but fairly close. The late nesters would have been the SY birds.

This weather event surprised most landlords. The temperatures were a little below average, and the periods of rain seemed to be intermixed with some sunshine. The birds appeared to be getting enough food, and most landlords held off doing nest checks due to the weather. I believe it was either a Friday or Saturday that the weather started to clear up after 4-5 days of wet weather. What the landlords found was unimaginable. Nestlings by the dozens were found dead. Phones started ringing across the martin network warning of these problems. The parents were getting enough food for themselves, but possibly couldn't keep up with feeding the nestlings. Along with the cooler temperatures and dampness, there was probably some hypothermia going on that affected the young as well.

By the time this landlord was done doing his nest check, he had filled up a 5 gallon bucket with 443 young. Talking about a sad day. He took these birds out into his field and spread them out and said a prayer to the Lord.

The next day awakened with bright sunshine and warmth. He said as he walked through his colony, they sang like nothing had ever happened. He found it hard to believe that they were so happy. With his help, these birds had had the death removed from their nests, and they seemed ready to go on with their lives. He saved the rest of the mature birds, as well as those remaining eggs and very young birds, to continue to hatch and to finally fledge.

The following year, he had a good year, and the population is probably back to the same levels, or actually better. Nature can be cruel, but with our help, we can make a difference.

Keep focused, and stay positive, and you will be rewarded with birds.

Bill

[Winger]

Wow, Thank you to all of you who have responded. What you don’t understand is that I recognize most all of you, I admire you, and I truly thank you for the time you took to respond to my post.

KathyF:
First off, I see that you “get it”! You truly understand where I am struggling! I will adopt your “healing tears”! Thanks, Girl!

Yes, I am watching your saga with the injured female. Please provide an update when one is available. I understand if she doesn’t make it, you will cry…thank you for the “moving on” statement …If our last nest (due to hatch mid June…Fledge mid July) do not make it, I know that we will have been successful with approx. 85 other fledges…

When we (my husband & I) found our dead female, he “tossed” her. (His way of dealing with things.). I had to look over her injuries one final time…then I buried her…

I love your line from Steel Magnolias! Another one that I can closely relate to is when Whizzer sp? (Shirley McClain’s character states “I’m an old southern woman who wears funny hats and grows tomatoes.”. Note: My tomato plants are gorgeous!

DakotaLady/Tangula:
Thanks Girlie…I had a lot of contacts through out the U.S. in my old “business” world, however, I think you are the first person from ND I have had contact with. If everyone in ND is even somewhat similar to you, what beautiful people reside in ND!

Thank you for your words of encouragement! I, too, wish you nothing but the best for your colony! I will be watching for your post!

Thanks, thurst:
I promise I will keep on keeping on. You post it, & I will read it! We had 5 pair last year, 19 pair this year. Although we upgraded housing, we read & learned what would work best for us from “The Forum”.

Hey David..dsonyay:
I understand windows/glass. We live on waterfront acreage and the entire back half of our house is glass! Although we have lost several birds due the windows, no Martins so far…

And nope, it doesn’t feel like your pouring cold water on me. I understand that I have to “toughen up”…Easy to say, a bit more difficult to “do”. I will work on it!

Speaking of handling the chicks…just a few days ago my “Mister” & I were sitting on the porch watching our birds. Something odd was going on around our gourd #8! Turns out a chick was out of the “hole” far enough to be “flapping” its wings. It appeared to us to be “caught”. We lowered the housing and opened the gourd. I put my left hand around the chick and my right hand in the nest towards its feet. I’m not sure if a claw was “caught” by something in the gourd (a BO-11) of if it was just hanging on for dear life… Freed it and returned it to the interior of the nest. Needless to say, I watched closely as those particular birds fledged just a few days later!

Greetings Cousin Bill..bwenger:
Wow, I cannot imagine facing the saga that you shared with me/us. It appears to be one more piece of reality that the Martin’s could teach us humans. Meaning instead of dwelling on our sorrows, look towards the future and look for the positive in all situations. Could we ask for a better lesson in life? Thanks Bill, I appreciate your post!


Thanks to all of you! I will be reading all of your future post. I thank you for the care & support that your post have given to me. With all my heart, wishing all of you nothing but the very best! Tammy~